If…An Alternative Version

This is part of my showcase Saturday where I showcase some of my work.  I originally wrote this poem as a joke.

If… Revised

If you can stare at drill bits all around you

And not get bored by all the staring too.

If you’re happy when gadgetry surrounds you

But shopping for clothes always makes you blue.

Do you spend hours discussing speakers?

While chatting down the pub with your mates;

Arguing about woofers and tweeters,

And staggering home one over the eight.

Do you dream of playing electric guitar

In a band that’s really cool?

Do you spend all of football practise

Arguing about the offside rule?

Does every little difference of opinion

Turn into a four hour debate?

Do you consider your local your dominion

And always call the barman ‘mate’?

Would you rather submit to torture

Than talk about the way you feel inside?

Do you consider asking for directions

To be an insult to your male pride?

Do you consider a game of poker

To be strictly for the boys?

As you find yourself growing older

Do you buy more expensive toys?

Do you think women make bad drivers

But never tell her how you feel?

Do you buy crap down the market for a fiver

And boast about how you got a deal?

Do you dispute every ref’s decision

Unless it means your team has won?

Do you hog the remote for the television?

Then you know you are a man, my son!

Sorry guys but at least some of it is true!

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