Like a lot of other people I got bullied at at school. Because I was little and shy I guess I was an easy target. It seems like a small thing but it helped to destroy my confidence at quite a young age and I’ve struggled to re-build my confidence ever since. The experience of being bullied taught me to keep silent, put my head down and to try remain unnoticed. It’s something I actually became good at. When I was being picked on it was an attitude that served me well because bullies don’t pick on people they don’t even notice.
But later on in life when I tried to do things I often found my efforts going unnoticed or that I was being overlooked or ignored. At first I was inclined to blame to people who didn’t notice me, saying things like it’s their loss. But after a while such sayings are small consolation. Due to an unpleasant early experience I struggle to put myself forward but eventually I have realised that it is my fault. Making myself invisible is an inappropriate response nowadays and I need to stop doing it! I’m not about to dye my hair purple or dress like a children’s TV presenter! But I just want to get better at coming forward. Because after all, what am I hiding from and why?