Getting Bullied At School

Like a lot of other people I got bullied at at school.  Because I was little and shy I guess I was an easy target.  It seems like a small thing but it helped to destroy my confidence at quite a young age and I’ve struggled to re-build my confidence ever since.  The experience of being bullied taught me to keep silent, put my head down and to try remain unnoticed.  It’s something I actually became good at.  When I was being picked on it was an attitude that served me well because bullies don’t pick on people they don’t even notice.

But later on in life when I tried to do things I often found my efforts going unnoticed or that I was being overlooked or ignored.  At first I was inclined to blame to people who didn’t notice me, saying things like it’s their loss.  But after a while such sayings are small consolation.  Due to an unpleasant early experience I struggle to put myself forward but eventually I have realised that it is my fault.  Making myself invisible is an inappropriate response nowadays and I need to stop doing it!  I’m not about to dye my hair purple or dress like a children’s TV presenter!  But I just want to get better at coming forward.  Because after all, what am I hiding from and why?

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3 thoughts on “Getting Bullied At School

  1. I had some wash out blue streaks for a lot of last summer. My hubby has a blue beard and a blue earring…..

    We find those little touches help us to hold our heads high.

    My kids, who have never been to school, move through the world with a confidence that awes me,.

    I wasn’t little, but I was odd. I wan’t shy, not really, but I had never been given the tools to communicate my emotions effectively, And abuse can predispose a child to feel that what they are getting from classmates is somehow their due…..

    You survived. That alone is worth holding your head high.

    Not only that, but you have value. There is no other you. =)

    • I wish I had been too, although it was pretty unheard-of at the time.

      The things these two learn – freely, avidly, and joyfully amaze me. Every day.

      Today, we were talking appendices (the anatomical rather than literary type.

      Coincidentally, they both brought them up on the same day.

      Jeremiah, 10, saw a reference on The Big Bang Theory.

      Annalise, 7.5, saw her on a Madeline video.

      So we talked purpose, vestigial, evolution, appendicitis, location, and noted that all four of us have ours.

      And so it goes. =)

      p.s. There is no bullying with my kids and their unschooled friends. Conflict, yes, but really not that often. Bullying? Nope.

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