One of my poems.

I have been writing poetry for as long as I can remember.  When I was eight our school had a poetry competition and I won!  My last great literary success!  I wrote a lot of truly bad poetry in my teenage years, all of which I subsequently burned!  But I thought I’d bore/entertain you with one of my efforts.  This is a classic Shakespearian sonnet (in form, rather than in quality, unfortunately!).



I sit here waiting for the muse to rise

But my mind stays blank as any canvass

Yet unpainted.  It comes as no surprise

That epic dreams and visions do not pass

Across the dusty deserts of my brain.

An effort must be made to make life flow;

Without useful toil nothing can be gained.

If you desire to make your garden grow

Then water and hard work must be applied.

Inspiration does not strike as lightning,

Nor fall like rain as manna from on high;

Without exertion gifts come to nothing.

We all desire to write from our own hearts

But in the crafting; that is the real art.



Trashy TV

We all moan about the quality of TV programmes nowadays but that doesn’t stop us watching them and most of us have at least one programme we watch which we know is crap really but we love it anyway!  My sister loves Judge Judy, my best friend loves Home and Away, hubby loves Jerry Springer and I love America’s Next Top Model.  ANTM as we fans call it, is such a bitch fest; I love the way in week one all the girls are going “Oh the other girls are sooo wonderful and such beautiful people and I’m blessed to be here” and by week three its “if that bitch touches my hairbrush again I’m going to rip her tits off!”  The modelling challenges are good and how they do in their photos is interesting but it’s what they do when they’re all crammed in the house together that is the most interesting bit because that’s when the fur begins to fly!

So if it’s Monday that means it’s ANTM tonight!  Hooray!


ROW80 Check-In 29/01/2012

This week has been a bit mixed with at least one really good day and one rubbish day.  Managed to blog every day and successfully read two poems every day as well.  Emily Swann has not being going so well.

Emily Swann Check list

Wednesday – Two pages

Thursday – Nothing

Friday – Two and a half pages.

Saturday – Nothing

Sunday – Two Pages (so far.)

So not a total disaster but definitely not as good as I would like.  I’m fairly okay if I miss one day between check-ins but I get cross with myself when I miss two.  I was out all day Saturday but that’s not much of an excuse.  And I forgot to do my diary on Saturday.  Did do the 750 words thing on Friday, that was a new goal for me so I’m glad I hit it first time.  To be honest, maybe it’s because its January and maybe because its Winter and maybe because its been cold miserable weather but I’ve been feeling apathetic and listless again.  At least I haven’t been too depressed so that’s a good thing.  But still hoping to do better next week.

My Past Life Regression

Went to a psychic fair in Glastonbury today and did a past life regression.  I have never done anything like that before so I was a little bit scared but it was one of the easiest and most natural things I’ve ever done.  Enjoyed it tremendously too and definitely want to do it again.

I discovered that in a past life I was a man who was a farmer in Norfolk!  I was quite fat and very hairy!  My childhood was a bit miserable because my mother had a lot of children and she didn’t really have any time for me which is possibly why I hate being ignored!  But I had a really happy marriage but after my wife died at least one of my family, my son, turned against me.  What is strange is that my son in that life is now my best friend in this life!  I died of something to do with my lungs, possibly pneumonia.

It was all very interesting and not at all difficult.  The woman who does the sessions is really nice and approachable.  Her surname is Diamond and her first name is either Elizabeth or Anne; I’m so rubbish at remembering people’s names!

Irritating postmen and the saga of the clock radio alarm.

Last night before I went to bed I put a notice on our front door saying ‘Please put any parcels in the green box’.  There’s a big green recycling box next to our front door and as well as putting our old newspapers in it, we use it as a postal drop when we’re out.  I was expecting delivery of my new clock radio (more on that later) which is why I put the notice up.  I’m not a morning person and never have been so I figured the postman wouldn’t need to ring the bell and wake me up, he could just stick the parcel in the box.  Simples, as they say in that meerkat ad.

Twenty past eight in the morning (!) and the doorbell rings; thinking it must be something that needs signing for I leap (yes really) out of bed, rush downstairs and answer the door.  It’s the postie with my clock radio, which did not need signing for.  I was so irritated I nearly swore at him, something along the lines of ‘can’t you fucking read?’ but just stopped myself.  Stomped back to bed but of course, couldn’t get back to sleep.

Now the saga of the clock radio.  My old clock radio (and it was old!) was broken.  The tuning kept slipping on the radio so that you’d set it at night to wake you up with some music and the tuning would slip in the night so that you ended up being woken up by an earful of static first thing in the morning!  Not good.  So I ordered a new one on Amazon.  About a week later Amazon e-mailed me to say that the clock radio I’d ordered was out of stock and furthermore, would never be in stock.  I e-mailed them straight back asking for a refund and after another week I’d heard nothing so I gave up, went to Currys and bought a new radio alarm clock.  When I got back from Currys there was an e-mail waiting for me on my computer to say the clock radio from Amazon had been shipped!  I couldn’t believe it!

So I went back to Currys and returned the clock radio I’d bought, they were fine about that, no quibbling or anything.  Then Wednesday we went out briefly for about half an hour and of course, while we were out they tried to deliver the clock radio, couldn’t and so took it back to the depot.  Wonderful Gary, the greatest husband in the world, went online to get them to re-deliver on Friday, which they did but at twenty past eight in the morning!  Grrrrr!  Still at least I have the thing!

Yes, I’m a Witch! And…?

As you probably guessed from the title of this post, I’m a witch.  Telling everyone about your Wiccan beliefs is called coming out of the broom closet!  Witchcraft or Wiccan is an ancient religion where believers worship the triple faced Goddess (amongst either deities).  She is maiden, mother and crone; maiden in the spring, mother in the summer and up to the harvest and then in the winter she becomes the crone to be renewed again as the Maiden the following spring.  This religion is about the Earth and the Environment and the natural order of death and rebirth and how all things run in cycles.

What it is not is anything to do with the Devil (the Devil is a Christain concept) or Satanism or any of that rubbish.  I’m not going to turn anyone into a frog although I wish I could ride around on a broomstick because it could save hours waiting at check-in!  (I hate airports!)  Paganism is the fatest growing religion in the UK and what I like about it is that there is no-one telling me how to pray or where.  I decide how to worship and when and where.  There is freedom in my religion for everyone to worship in a way that suits them.

I know that there are people out there who would think that because of my beliefs I must be evil but I am just going to ignore them.  I certainly am not going to be intimidated by them; I mean no-one any ill will.  In Wiccan we have something called the threefold law which means that whatever you do to other comes back on you three times; so if you do anything harmful it will come back and bite you in the a**e!  But if you are kind and generous to others then that is what you’ll get back.  So if I hurt others I would eventually hurt myself.  So just to reassure you, I’m not the Wicked Witch of the West, I’m just a relatively normal forty-six year old woman who happens to be a witch!


ROW80 Check-In 25/01/2012

Another good week; have been doing so well I’m thinking of upping my goals but I’m worried if I do that I’ll start to fail and than get depressed.  But then nothing ventured, nothing gained so okay let’s go for it.


Blog every day – done and sticking to that as I think that’s enough for now.  Have been debating getting another blog for my occult stuff and using this for the writing or leaving it intergrated as it is now.

Do diary every day- have done that although it’s depressing sometimes to see how boring my life is.  I do events rather than thoughts in my diary and so some days there’s not much to put in.

Read a poem every day – that’s done and am now finding it a bit too easy so decided to up that to two poems a day.

Edit one page of Emily Swann a day – did that most days, yesterday I only did about three quarters of a page but it was at the end of a chapter so it seemed a natural place to finish for the day.  Will up that to two pages a day.

Will start trying to do these morning pages things; I know for sure that I won’t do them every day so I’ll start by saying I’ll do it twice a week and see how I go from there.

Did manage to start on the film side of my 50/50 challenge by going to see “J. Edgar”.

The reading has turned into a confused mass of half open books so I’m going to need to address that and actually finish some of them to get some order back!

The Film “J Edgar”.

This afternoon Gary and I went to see the film “J. Edgar” about J. Edgar Hoover and it was pretty good.  It was a bit slow and not exactly action packed but with a lot of todays films you get conditioned into expecting big explosions, car chases and gun battles and there was none of that here.  The acting was great; particularly Leonardo Di Caprio in the lead role.  Gary and I agreed that we didn’t like him that much when he was younger (except in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?) but he seems to have got better now he’s a bit older.  To my mind, he’s matured in all the right ways.

Judi Dench played his mother and she was as stunningly briliiant as she always is.  The film is directed by Clint Eastwood.

From a historical point of view it seemed pretty accurate to me and the historical detail was probably the most interesting thing.  Hoover was a very flawed individual; racist and a total conspiracy theorist who blackmailed everyone to stay in power and lied about his part in capturing famous criminals to glamorise himself.  But some of his ideas were good and even ahead of his time.  He introduced a central government system for storing fingerprints and helped bring science into crime solving so he wasn’t all bad.

I would say that this is a good film but not a great one.

The Year of the Dragon

Today is Chinese New Year and it is now the Year of the Dragon.  Dragons are supposed to bring prosperity and success so let’s hope that’s true.  If you were born under the sign of the Dragon then you will be proud and clever but a bit of a show off.  Dragon’s have a lot of vitality and enthusiam (inner fire), they like to hang tough but they’re really very sentimental inside.

Quoting from my February edition of Prediction it says “Dragon years are packed full of dramatic activity making them exceptionally memorable.  Dragon years are believed to be the year of good fortune and luck.  Many will consider moving house, getting married, having their first baby or making some other significant life change at this time.  Tradition suggests it is also a good year to start a business.”

ROW80 Check-In 22/01/2012

Is it me or is this year going really quickly?  I can’t believe that almost a whole month has gone by already!  A fairly productive few days for me.  Have blogged, read a poem and written by diary every day.  Glad that I’ve got into a routine for those three now and so it feels pretty natural and easy to do them all.  Emily Swann is going well too.  Have edited about five pages since Thursday; didn’t do anything on Wednesday but I’m not going to beat myself up over that.  Am thinking about building in one or two rest days a week as I’m finding that I feel more ready to work on Emily Swann when I miss a day sometimes.  But if I miss two days in a row then guilt and self pity appear and I start to feel useless and hopeless.  I’m worried that if I rest too often a) Emily Swann will never be finished and b) I will get depressed.

I’m currently working on the second draft of Emily Swann and when that’s finished I plan to print off this copy (which I doing on my laptop) and put it next to my handwritten first draft and then pick out all the best bits and shape and polish it up till its as near perfect as I can get it.  I think it will take at least three drafts to get it up to publishable standard.  When I’ve finished the third draft I will let Gary read it and see what he say.  By virtue of being my lovely hubby he always gets first read.

Doing crap on the 50/50 challenge; so far have read two books and not sat through a single film but next week we’re going to see J. Edgar so that will at least kick that goal off.  Did read another chapter of the Plot and Structure book.  Getting totally engrossed in The Game of Thrones but can’t include that in my50/50 challenge because I starting reading that just after Christmas.